A Journey to Self Love

Self love has also been mention to my last blog over a year ago in “Things I’ve learned at 22” and ever since then I started practicing self love little by little until now.

As May 2019 ends, here’s my thoughts.

I notice that people nowadays are so busy catching up with each other like they’re in a Life Race. People are pressured to accomplish their goals in life in a very short period of time.

In our world today, specially at my age, we are so defined to do society standards like having a partner, getting married, getting a good and stable job, a house, kids, car or financial stability. We are so busy doing all that things to make it work but in the end when we are alone, we feel lost, hopeless, empty, that nobody need us because someone is always better than us and everything we do are all not enough.

At first self love may sounds like being selfish. Self love is not about thinking just yourself and not having a consideration on others. Self love is the belief that you are valuable and worthy person. Back then, discovering self love makes me realize that life is not a race, it’s a journey. To just be yourself and feel whole in the process. That you don’t let others defined you because you know yourself better and not what others told you to be. It’s letting go of habit of living in what others says.

I would to share some tips to you on Self Care and Self Love where we will discover more about ourselves and get our life more organize and set our minds on what really matters. Our thoughts are stronger than what you think it is because our thoughts become our feelings and our feelings become our actions.

Here are some tips on how you will start on your journey to self love. These tips actually works on me, but as I was saying this journey doesn’t happen overnight, some might work on you and some might not so you at least try and try until you know what works on you. I know starting is always the hardest but just give it a try, “trying won’t kill you” *wink*

1.Give yourself alone time.
Have a time with yourself. Go to a place where you feel at ease and peace. It may be your room, church, seaside, coffee shop, restaurant or park. If you feel awkward walking around on yourself. I would suggest you go to a place where no one knows you, so you can just keep in mind “I don’t know them and they don’t know me, so it’s okay”. I also let myself just stare at a blank space and thoughts will caved in. Some of my realizations are those people who judge and mistreated me doesn’t really mattered at all and that everyone has their own flaws and imperfections and we really just need to embrace everything from what we can and can’t do. You are not born to please anyone. Realize that your happiness doesn’t depend on people who don’t like you, that you have to be something you are not for them. Eventually true friends will stay by your side!

2. Bring a notebook and a pen with you.
You can just sit anywhere your comfortable with and write all your random thoughts,.Just write any thoughts that come to your mind. It could be school stuffs, work, hatred, rants, gratitudes or you could even write a letter to someone, write what you want to say to him/her or even a letter for yourself. Keep it, read it again for some time in the future. You can also write, I don’t know to say. Done that.

3. Treat yourself.
We have different ways of treating ourselves. Some buys clothes, bags and shoes. Some eat something they really want. Some treat themselves a pedicure, manicure and new hairstyle. Some get a massage. Some go to church and pray. But me I would rather be alone in my room, lighting a scented candle, writing, crying and then get a good sleep.

4. Have someone very close to talk to.
Call someone very close to you and share them your thoughts, someone you knew who wouldn’t judge you. I recommend having at least one go to person, whom you can talk to with transparently anything. It could be your mom, your dad, siblings or a close friend. If none, you can send me an email I’ll read it, and give you some advice but if you just want to share your rants and thoughts about how you hate someone or your life, just put a “do not reply” message at the end or I would suggest you to pray. Talk to Him. He always listens to us. These verses might help:

5. Find a hobby or things you are passionate about.
Paint, compose a song, finish a poem, exercise, yoga, swimming, hiking, biking, Meditate. Any habit that would make you happy and feel at peace. This is also a way of keeping your mind busy.

6. Eat healthy and get fit.
If you’re starting on self love you must also love your body right now. If we are so busy we tend to not eat good food and not keeping an eye on what you eat today will cause some problems later.

7. Travel. Travel alone, with friends or with family at least twice a year. It’s nice to be at a place you’ve never been before. Meeting new people will make you discover what life really is.

8. Keep everything organize. It can be your thoughts or goals in life. Having a journal helps a lot. It doesn’t need to be a perfect notebook, you can write at scratch write what you feel to release it. And also having something to look up to will keep you reminded and feel more organize on what should be doing. You can also clean your closet. Organize your room, your books, or your collections, if any.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you learn and realize something from this post. I am thankful that you are reading this until the end. So cheers to a work in process happiest self! ☺️

You can comment down below all your thoughts about my list on self love. Tell me stories if this lists works on you. I will be gladly reading all your emails. Thank you so much. All love.


– Cher, theblackandwhitethoughts


Birthday Lessons | 5 things I learned at 22

My birthday is coming up! Here are some of my biggest lessons learned at the age of 22.

Birthday Lessons

• Time. Every seconds count. Invest more time with the right people. Time so precious that spending it with the right people will all be worth it. You will never get tired travelling 12hrs just to spend a day with family. Time is very limited, lets make all the people we love feel loved.

• Talk Less. Sometimes people around you will also be the first one to judge you, be aware. Some are just beside you waiting for you to make a wrong move and then bring you down. Be careful who you trust not everyone do really care.

• You are in control of your life and the way you feel. No one is in charge. You are the author of your life. No one can dictate what you are and what you can’t and shouldn’t do.

• Continue pushing yourself outside of your comfortzone. If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you do not step forward, you’ll always be in the same place. Do not stop on growing up and learning a lot more. There’s more to life than than the four corners of you work.

• Selflove is not selfish its necessary. A little space and time for yourself won’t hurt. Create your own world once and a while. Give yourself a break. You have to keep loving yourself always. Do not rely your happiness to others. People come and go. Start making your own happiness a priority.

Twenty-two’s been the toughest year of my life. It pushed me down on my knees a lot but I learned to pick myself up. I learned to do things on my own and realized that no one is charge of my life but myself. Sending you lots of love as always ❤️

my-twentytwo-self is now signing off.

Be yourself.

Do you ever feel like, It’ll be much better if you were living as someone else? If you are not you? If you just live like someone whom you adore? And trying to live like them? That you’re not good enough?

Well it’s not that I am saying it’s not good or what, It’s good to have someone your looking into and make them your inspiration to reach your goals. I am just saying that do not lose yourself in the process. Do not lose the real you trying to be like them.

A group of animals started a school. Each was going to study something he knew nothing about.

So the duck, an excellent swimmer, took up running. Well, try as it might, it remained a poor runner… and in the meantime became secondclass in swimming too.

The dog was a good runner, but it broke its leg trying to fly.

The cockatoo was a natural at flying, but almost drowned trying to swim.

At the end of all these special courses, nine of the animals was very good at anything.

The moral of the story is: b what you are. Don’t try being what you are not; for if you aren’t what you are, what are you?

(The next 500 stories, p37)

We need to accept that we can’t do everything. Maybe someones good at something you don’t and we tend to get sad about it, but you wouldn’t know if someones not good into something so easy for you. Sometimes there are days that you just don’t feel good. You just want to crawl up in bed and do nothing. Remember that everybody has those days. We’re all the same in some way. You must try to live well, eat right, exercise and take care of yourself. To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. Don’t try to impress people. If people do love you, they will accept the real you. No but’s, No if’s. All you need is to accept yourself and be happy with who you are! Don’t let other people let you down, don’t make them define you. Failed today? Remember, Failing is just another word for Growing. Keep on learning. Hard work always pays off.

Here’s my playlist. Just in case you need it too. 😉

1. Who says – Selena Gomez

2. Love Myself – Hailee steinfield

3. This is Me – Demi Lovato

4. Today My life begins – Bruno Mars

5. Fight Song – Rachel Platten

6. No – Meghan Trainor

7. Kill em with kindness – Selena Gomez

8. Brighter – Against the Current

9. The climb – Miley Cyrus

10. Big girls don’t cry – Fergie

11. All about that Bass – Meghan Trainor

12. Brighter than the Sun – Colbir Caillat

13. Pretty Girl Rock – Keri Hilson

14. That’s my Girl – Fifth Harmony

15. Malibu – Miley Cyrus

16. God Girl – Jamie Grace

17. Let it go – James Bay

18. Who you are – Jessie J.

19. Take a bow – Rihanna

20. Really Don’t Care – Demi Lovato ft. Cher Lloyd

Cheers to our happiest self 🥂

Personal Style| Part 1 #Style 001

Are you one of the ladies who has this dilemma of “oh my g, I don’t have enough clothes”, “I don’t know what to wear” “It doesn’t look good on me” Well, Hi! you’re not the only one out there sister! It’s still the start of the year and a new start for me. So yesterday, I decided to clean my closet and while separating most of my used and unused clothes, I realized that my closet is made up of 70% black and white, 10% gray, 8% denims, 8% blue, 2% beige and 2% olive. So I therefore conclude that I’ve been inlove to black last year and I guess I will fall inlove more this year! Most of my clothes are a plain large shirt and fitted denim jeans. It’s my go-to anywhere outfit.

Finding your own personal style is not just about wearing trendy clothes. Fashion for me is an art, it’s your own way of expressing yourself through clothes. It’s finding, exploring and understanding what you like and what looks good on you.

Discover your personal style.

1. Wear what you want. Be different, stand out. There is no rule in personal style. Wear what makes you feel and look good. Comfort leads to Confidence.

2. Get a daily dose of inspiration. Find a Style Icon, who has the same taste as yours and follow them. Inspiration is everywhere.

3. Dress according to your mood. Dress for yourself. If you want to wear all black then do it. Do not be afraid of what others may say, If you feel good, you look good in it. It will definitely look good specially when worn with confidence.

4. Challenge yourself. Do not afraid of trying new trends, like wear a dress for a week. Try things you don’t think fits you. Trial and Error until you discover what fits you.

5. And last, do not take fashion seriously, just be yourself and the real you will shine.

Be your happiest self!


Cher 🖤

Let’s start the year right!

It’s the first day of the year and everyone’s engaged to their new year’s resolutions list while I decided to start this year with a theme in mind. Consistency and Perseverance.

Consistency. I’d like to focus on these four habits ( meditating, reading, exercising and writing ). I want to focus more on achieving more goals for my self this year, to push myself within the boundaries of what I can do and continue to improve and balance my work and personal life.

Perseverance. I want to have this traits this year, to stay on track despite of the difficulties, opposition or discouragement I’ll face this year. I don’t want to have regrets of not doing things I wish I did. I’ll be patient. I’ll keep in mind that good things are worth the wait and quality takes time and commitment.

I learned a lot from 2017 and I’m looking forward on learning more. I know that we don’t need to wait for new year to make a change, any day is the perfect day for a fresh start but let’s do this today! Let’s live life to fullest and make it our masterpiece.


Rock Bottom

I was lost. I lost track. I hit the rock bottom and the only way to go is up.

I admit that I did let myself drowned unto the idea of I can never be okay again, that I was meant to be like this, feeling unworthy, regretting all the things I should’ve done but I was wrong, there’s no point of wishing I had done differently, this is what I am today and it’s my choice if I’ll stay the same or will I continue moving forward. And I say “Yes”, I’ll accept the fact that I will never be the same person as I was yesterday because I was a different person then and so I am now.

Today, I decided to be a better person, to get back on track, to gain what I lost and to be myself again. No apologies or excuses. I know that the start is the hardest part but I will take this as a brand new opportunity to rebuild what I truly want, where I will begin to reach my dreams and goals and to continue seeking for life’s purpose.


Right now, a lion was born. A bolder, fiercer and fearless lion. I’m gonna show them that I am meant to be here and that there is a huge comfort in knowing that I am not alone, that for all the delays in my life I have one God who’s with me and has so much better plan for me than I have for myself and that He is doing something, not in the way I wanted but according to what He thought is the best.

Every day is a new day to start. Today I will start living a new self and if I fail today, I can always begin again.

“It does no matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop” 


Cher ♥︎

Price of Love

“Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love.”


Passing away of someone precious to me at times I least expect, it was like cold water poured on me while I was deeply sleeping, it goes deep and lingers on my skin and there’s nothing I can do to get rid of it, it demanded to be felt and dealing with it alone kills me.

Surrounded by people telling me “everything will be okay” for me was better left unsaid, it doesn’t make sense to me, it doesn’t help, it doesn’t lessen the pain I’m feeling. ‘Cause whatever they say and do, the empty part of my heart that silently screams in pain, will never be the same again.

I’ve been dealing with this emotional storm these past few months. Waking up in the middle of the night, where darkness is the only thing that embraces me and I knew it’s the part of the day that feelings are just too honest to fool and any attempt to divert it will only make it worst. Emotions comes in waves and all I can do is just curl up in my blanket and cry, cry because the pain of letting go, of accepting the fact she’s gone and there’s nothing I can do to bring her back is almost as unbearable as the initial loss.

As I reflected on myself today, many thoughts and feelings come to surface. I realize that it’s the LOVE that hurts. It’s that unspent love, the love for that someone that has nowhere else to go. It’s the love that we cannot ever give to them, and keeping all these love is what makes it hurts. Letting go of this love is never easy as it sounds. I have to deal with it everyday. I may never return to the old carefree and untroubled me that existed before this but I will find a way forward and only time can tell.

I’ll be alright. One day. Someday. Just not today.